Making a Mess!

Have you ever made a mess?  I mean a grade-A certifiable mess?  Had a lot on my mind lately and this morning I walked in to the kitchen and reached for one of those acai protien drinks.  As I'm standing there in the fridge shaking it, it  slops out my hand and crashes to the floor!  Red, thick paste is EVERWHERE! The cabinets, the counter tops, the wall, not to mention the floor.  Looks like a m%$Fin bomb went off! 

I stood there wide-eyed for 10 very  long seconds.  My first thoughts were "How am I going to clean this up?" and "Where do I even start?" Words can not possibly describe the trajectory of this mess.  As I'm climbing the cabinets (yes, I'm vertically challenged) to reach the high spots on the  17-foot wall, I start to laugh.

While cleaning, I started to reflect on an other situation in my life where I feel I made a certifiable mess. But just as in this kitchen explosion, you clean it up as best you can, learn the accompanying lesson or lessons (there's always at least one, right???), forgive yourself and move on.  There is no use crying or feeling guilty. The mess doesn't define you.  Let it go.

Well, I managed to get the nooks, crannies and under the drawer handles. But the mop never made it during my transition to Memphis from Houston, and I haven't yet bought a replacement.  So for now the floor, as well as the situation, is a little sticky.  But it won't be that way forever. :)

-Nicole

You Need a Champion

“You don’t need a man, Liz.  You need a CHAMPION.”

–Felipe in Eat, Pray, Love

The moment those words left his lips, I felt something move in my spirit.  She looked at him and  1) knew he was right and 2) recognized that he was her champion.  There is an indescribable…something! An ease, a confidence, a calm about him that stirs fear, curiosity, and peace within her. Not every man (or woman)  is a champion.

Our beloved former Houston Rockets head coach, Rudy Tomjanovich would always say, “Never underestimate the heart of a champion.”  Have you ever wondered what really makes a champion? What are the characteristics? What are the qualities that one must possess?

Three key components were consistent throughout my research on the development of a champion.  

1. State of Mind. Ability to focus on a certain task and perform that task no matter what, under any conditions with a deliberate attention.
2. High Level of Perception. Perception is the ability to accept, absorb, recognize, identify, distinguish and differentiate the information that comes from all directions at high speed. The highest levels will elevate you to the next level of performance and opens the doors to new possibilities.   A champion's perception allows him/her to compete on another level, because their perception of movement and what needs to happen is backed up by a state of mind that allows the possibility of going beyond the perceived limits. And then the acutely developed perception becomes a guide in swiftly choosing and taking the next required step.
3. Ability to perform the action. To produce the results. The ability to do what needs to be done, when it matters. This last, but not least characteristic brings it all together.

With a proper state of mind, a high level of awareness/perception and the ability to pull it off under pressure, one can become unstoppable! If the above paragraphs were too wordy, let me simplify.

Champion’s Checklist:

—       The Ability to Focus

—       Mental Toughness

—       Perception

—       Hope/Goal Setting Ability

—       Intelligence

—       Ability to Cope

—       Competitiveness

—       Confidence

—       Coachability

—       High Drive

—       Problem-solver

—       Independent, yet collaborative

—       Intrinsic Motivation

—       Optimism

—       Action

—       Discipline

—       Adaptive Perfectionism

—       Emotional Control: Ability to Relax and Activate

—       Considerate

—       Consistency

—       Work ethic

—       High Standards

—       Follow-through on commitments

I encourage each of you to search your heart and apply your inner champion to all aspects of your life (family, work, relationships, hobbies, and friendships)  In the words of Muhammad Ali, “Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them: A desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have late minute stamina, they have to be a little faster, they have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill. “

-Nicole

We Learn as We Play

I am addicted to Words with Friends.  The revelation dawned on me this morning, as I currently have 7 games going, with my sister and friends from all over the United States.  This made think of the concept of play, the role is has in my life, and my friend Emilee who often says, “We learn as we play.”   

When was the last time you played chess/jenga/twister, put together a puzzle, flew a kite, or colored in a coloring book?  Those things may seem “childish”, but play is the most authentic doorway to learning.  By nature, humans are born to play. Playing is instinctive and fundamental to our existence. It is simultaneously a source of calmness and relaxation, as well as a source of stimulation for the brain and body. Playfulness helps us be more inventive, smart, happy, flexible, and resilient.  It is a way to develop and stimulate imagination, creativity, and problem-solving abilities. The components of play - curiosity, discovery, novelty, risk-taking, trial and error, pretense, games, social etiquette and other increasingly complex adaptive activities - are the same as the components of learning.

We often take play for granted, but it is as important to our physical and mental health as getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising. Sharing joy, laughter and fun with others promotes bonding and strengthens a sense of community. We develop empathy, compassion, trust, and the capacity for intimacy through regular play. Play can also heal resentments, disagreements, and hurts. Through regular play, we learn to trust one another and feel safe. Trust enables us to work together, open ourselves to intimacy, and try new things. Social skills are learned in the give and take of play. Verbal communication and body language, safety and danger, freedom and boundaries, cooperation and teamwork: all are discovered and practiced repeatedly.


Despite the power of play, somewhere between childhood and adulthood, many of us stop playing. We exchange play for work and responsibilities. When we do have some leisure time, we're more likely to zone out in front of the TV or computer than to engage in creative, brain-stimulating play. Work is where we spend much of our time. That is why it is especially important for us to play during work. Without some recreation, our work suffers. Success at work doesn't depend on the amount of time you work. It depends upon the quality of your work. And the quality of your work is highly-dependant on your well-being.

Taking the time to replenish yourself through play is one of the best things you can do for your career. When the project you're working on hits a serious glitch (as they frequently do), heading out to the basketball court with your colleagues to shoot some hoops and have a few laughs does more than take your mind off the problem. Play allows your relationship to the problem to shift and enable you to approach it from a new perspective.

By giving ourselves permission to play with the joyful abandon of childhood, we can continue to reap its benefits throughout life.  To that I say, “ PLAY ON, PLAYER!”

-Nicole

For more information about “PLAY”, check out the following articles.

10 Reasons Play Can Make You Healthy, Happy, and More Productive – Top ten list of the many ways play contributes to mental and physical health. (U.S. News & World Report)

The Creativity Personality – Article by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi on the ten traits that many creative individuals share. (Psychology Today)

I Do NOT Work for Free

Monday morning, 8 a.m.  The phone rings from a prospective client. I’m hoping to continue the conversation about providing service for his event later this year.  He first assumed that I wouldn’t be available during the day to provide services, because I “must work somewhere else”.   *scratches head* He asked me if this was ‘something I do on the side.”  I vaguely remember him using the words “little massage business”.  He proceeds to tell me that the organization chooses quality vendors.  Then he said that he wanted to barter.   PAUSE.  Barter means “trade”.  What was he offering me in return for 14 hours of massage?  Nada.  I summed up that he didn’t want to conduct business.  He wants me to work for free!  “Exposure”, “ visibility”, whatever the verbally creative want to call it these days. 

I DO NOT WORK FOR FREE. PERIOD.  I learned this lesson at the tender age of 21, when working in the communication department for an NBA team.  I couldn’t pay my bills with game tickets!  (As an employee, you aren’t allowed to sell them)  Money is the tool we use to create a livelihood and quality of life experience here on this earth.   Now, don’t get it twisted.  I donate several massage therapy sessions annually for silent auction items to organizations and worthy causes that I or my clientbase support.   

Barter/trade is a useful tool.  Here is where I draw the line. The key is there must be a mutual benefit for both parties.  If you are organizing an event where there is a registration fee involved and participants are flying in from around the country, staying in hotels, renting cars, and eating out, why assume that I want to provide service for free to a group who does not live in my area and the likelihood of them becoming regular clients is slim to none? There is not much ROI (return on investment) in that situation for me to justify 14 hours of free massage therapy time, which is the equivalent of $1,330.

 I understand the economic concerns for trying to get as much bang for your budget, but why would you low-ball the small business owner?   We want to grow and expand, but can’t do that without capital and support from our community and client base.  It basically boils down to VALUE.  Do you value your community’s small business owners, especially service providers?

I recognize my role and responsibility to educate potential clients on who I am, how I run my business and what I expect of my clients.  First, in the State of Texas, a massage therapist must complete a certification program consisting of 500 hours, minimum, including 50 hands-on hours in clinical study BEFORE qualifying to sit for the state licensing exam.  Massage Therapy programs range from $3,000 to $5,000. The exam is in Austin and administered in two parts, one part practical, the other part written.  The exam costs $150 and takes most of day.  The license must be renewed every two years costing $110 and 12 hours worth of continuing education units, at an additional cost, must be completed during that period.   Since I am also a licensed aesthetician, I also completed a 750 hour program, took the licensing exam and must maintain that license bi-annually.  Did you also know I’m also a licensed massage instructor?  CEU provider? …and the licensing courses, exams, and fees continue.  

With over 10 years of professional massage therapy experience and thousands of hands-on massage hours under my belt, I aim to provide a high-quality massage experience for my clients.  I value them and I hope they value and respect all that I have invested in my education, training, and building this business.